Friday, April 22, 2011

Husky sick voice.

What I learned this week: when you are not feeling well, you should not work two thirteen hour days in a row. Especially when your vocations during those thirteen hour days include teaching and customer service, i.e., being on your feet and talking to people all day. Also, prior to those thirteen hour days, you should probably not spend the night drinking a lot of beer at an arcade and eating greasy food at a gay hamburger joint. I know, I'm a genius! It should be noted, though, that prior to my hectic mid-week schedule, I actually took Monday and Tuesday off. This is remarkable, since I rarely--and I mean rarely--take sick days. Kathy has been a good influence in encouraging me to take better care of myself; normally, it's hard for me to break from a stubborn "suck it up and stop whining" mentality. It should also be noted that Tuesday was an accidental day off--the tutoring program I usually work for on Tuesdays actually didn't need me, so I drove to school and then drove home. I don't think I've ever in my life actually purposely taken two sick days in a row. And here's the shocking part--during those two days of rest, my sickness didn't escalate and I felt pretty good! I know! Wonders never cease.

My sickness has been a weird one which mainly just involves a really sore and swollen throat and overall fatigue. Normally this type of thing would evolve into a general stuffy nose type cold, but that's never happened--it's just my throat. And while I'm exhausted, feeling exhausted is just my normal state of being most of the time, so, who's to say whether that's actually special or not. In any case, after two days of overextending myself, last night during work I quickly descended into having Husky Sick Voice. This is different from Stuffed-Up Sick Voice, which just sounds gross. With Husky Sick Voice, you can still pronounce all of your syllables correctly, your voice is just two levels lower, with a handful of gravel.

Husky Sick Voice is the most awesome part of being sick! It makes one sound so much more badass than one normally does! Especially when I normally am not a fan of my voice anyway, which I harbor a constant insecurity about still sounding silly from my speech problems I had as a child. As part of my teaching program, I've had to videotape and then analyze myself teaching (I know, ugh), and while I was actually pretty happy watching my interaction with the students, I couldn't get over my voice and how my face, at 27, still looks like a 10 year chipmunk. Imagine how my street cred with the kids would improve if my voice was ALWAYS two decibals lower! Who DOESN'T want to sound like Tracy Chapman all the time! (Confession: I really, really, really want to sound like Tracy Chapman all the time. I think about it frequently.)

Plus, Husky Sick Voice also seems to happen when the rest of your body is starting to actually feel better, causing you to really not be that bad off, but still able to make people feel sorry for you!

Unfortunately, overnight the Husky Sick Voice has progressed to an almost complete lack of a voice, which is much less sexy, much more pathetic. More prone to cracking like a teenage boy, more prone to warbling and sounding like I'm constantly on the verge of crying, more prone to sounding like a dying duck. Additional lesson learned: it is nearly impossible to teach with such a voice. My wisdom is never-ending! But, I had already taken TWO days off this week. Taking another day, just because I physically can't communicate with people? Pssssh. Don't be ridiculous. Oh, and we're also hosting a party at our apartment tonight! I will probably drink more beer, even though I can hardly speak! And I'm working at 7:30AM tomorrow morning! So much smartness up in here!

Whenever I'm blessed with the Husky Sick Voice, I think of that Friends episode where Phoebe has the Husky Sick Voice, and realizes that her singing sounds ten times sexier with it. (Duh!) She feels so satisfied with herself, as I did with myself last night. Such a devastating loss when it goes away and you're just left with normal you again.

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