Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Cake v. Pie: Cake.

If you're like me, you often find yourself thinking about the "What's better? Cake or pie?" debate.

If you're not like me, you're probably a healthier person. Although I would argue, I might be a happier person.

You may also debate greater things, like, how offensive CAN these female Republican presidential hopefuls be to America AND feminism all at once? Or, how does anyone think that fracking or mountain-top-removal mining or tar sands are good ideas for energy supply? Or, what the hell is going on with DADT? Or, who knew so many people on your Facebook/Twitter feed cared so much about Casey Anthony? Or, have we made any progress in more equitable education in the last 30 years, at all? 

HOWEVER, cake v. pie is much more fun, so this is what I'm going with.

I have always been squarely in the pie camp with this, for many reasons I will outline when I get to talking about pie. But, my dear friends, this does NOT mean that I am anti-cake. No siree! In particular, there are two kinds of cake which really TAKE THE CAKE, if you will--HAHAHA!--which I will now devote the following paragraphs to. Because I can. 


1. The Funfetti.

The Funfetti, accompanied, OF COURSE, by the Funfetti Confetti frosting--is the most artificial cake OF ALL TIME. The Funfetti is the ultimate cake for trashy white people, AND IT IS DELICIOUS! Oh, what, a light and fluffy vanilla cake accompanied by sugary frosting with BALLS OF RAINBOW INSIDE? Uh, yes please! I don't care what you say, Michael Pollan, I know it's all derived from corn and fossil fuels, and I AM GOING TO EAT IT UNTIL I DIE!

Carrot cake slice

2. The Carrot.

I think I've only recently fully realized my deep love of carrot cake. I mean, I always liked it, but now I understand that I actually LOVE IT. Since we've been on the West Coast and have spent most holidays by ourselves or with friends--meaning, we've actually had to fend for ourselves food-wise instead of automatically being fed ridiculous treats made by family members--most years for Easter I've made a homemade carrot cake which is AMAZING (if I do say so myself). Although I think I wimped out on making it last year. Because let's be honest, grating carrots is a pain in the ass. Grating carrots is, in fact, the worst.

But, everything else about making it is great--so many delicious spices all at once--I'll take your cinnamon AND your nutmeg AND your ginger, thankyouverymuch--and the CREAM CHEESE FROSTING, so easy to whip up and then it makes everything perfect. I'll say it again in case you missed it: cream cheese frosting makes everything perfect. If I had to add another cake to this list, it'd probably be red velvet, and you know why? The cream cheese frosting. That's really what it's all about, people.

(Also, in my carrot-cake-baking, I've learned that the key to a really good, moist cake is pineapple. Pineapple juice with bits of ripped up pineapple shreds in it. I actually don't normally love pineapple as a plain fruit, but it fits in perfectly.)

In conclusion, the Marriott where we're having our wedding reception is providing us with a cake. OH, and when I say "providing us with a cake," I mean, it's included in the ridiculous amount of money we're going to pay them. BUT, it's also kind of a fancy place. SO, my question is, they might have a problem with my suggestion of an alternated-layer funfetti/carrot cake wedding cake. Right? Right. Sigh. It's really too bad.

Any favorite cakes you think I should add as honorable mentions?

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