Friday, February 22, 2013

Project Runway 11.3: You Cry, I Cry, We All Cry.

I'm already even more behind on these recaps than I thought I would be, so, really, things are running as expected. WAY TO GO ME!

So our third episode is Shameless Advertising Scheme #2 of the season, this time for our very own Heidi Klum. She's coming out with her own perfume because who isn't! She needs two outfits: one for a commercial, one for press events. She says make it sexy, because duh!

Sorry, I mean "fragrance"!

We're still in teams Keeping It Real and Dream Team; it's becoming clear to me that we're staying in these teams ALL SEASON LONG. Hence, you know, the meaning of "Project Runway Teams." I suppose I'm just slow on the uptake; I thought there'd be different kinds of team challenges. In one way, this is okay, because it does seem like the individual designers are getting to do their own things within the larger teams. At the same time, the winner only coming from the winning team and the loser from the losing team thing when it comes to judging seems rather unfair. There are designers on Dream Team that seem rather rad who haven't had a chance to win, or even really feel good about themselves yet, and designers on Keeping It Real who've never had to go through a rough critique when they might have deserved one.

Since team members do keep getting kicked out of Dream Team, though, the numbers are a bit uneven at this point between the teams. For the number of designs Heidi wants to see, Dream Team each gets their own design while a few people on Keeping It Real have to collaborate. One of those couplings are Amanda and Joe, who are having a real hard time coming up with a concept together. Amanda likes doing fitted, sophisticated things; Joe likes making cat sweaters. When trying to get advice about what to do, Nice Bald Guy says, you just want to get Heidi on the Best Dressed List, not What Not to Wear. To which Joe says this gem:

"If it gets on What Not to Wear, that's like, a proud moment for me. Because I like making stuff like that."

To which the others look at him like he's crazy. And I say, OH JOE. I LOVE YOU!

Uhhh, right.
They eventually come up with a good compromise they feel good about. Another team, meanwhile, Kate and Layana, start out seemingly chummy. But then suddenly during Tim's critique, Layana has a meltdown wherein she starts grabbing her head and screaming, "THIS COLOR! THIS PINK! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE LIKES IT! THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!," all while still being weirdly adorable Layana? Wait, is she adorable or annoying? I don't know; I can't tell! Kate deals with it as best she can, forcing politely confused smiles, but it is awkward.

I just have all these FEELINGS.
Overall, people are going through some emotional trauma. Matt, Fun Guy From New Orleans, is feeling intimidated and stressed by making an elegant Heidi look, which ain't really his thang. Benjamin, meanwhile, for whom this challenge is supposed to be made for, has for some reason lost it. Just really lost all manner of previous Ben confidence. His head is in a murky dark place; he reveals to the camera that he used to be in an emotionally abusive relationship which made him not doubt just himself, but his career. It's when he talks about his career that he breaks down. When he says, "But I'm on Project Runway, so someone must have thought I'm good at what I do," in such a vulnerable, I-want-to-be-loved-and-belived-in way as opposed to a cocky way, I lose it, too. Sorry for saying bad things about you, Ben!

You'll be okay! Maybe!
The next crying sesh comes from Guy With the Mustache From Texas, Daniel, who doesn't have so much of a meltdown as Ben but gives a little spiel about how he's self-taught and comes from nothing but that he really thinks he's good and wants this so badly; he just wants this so badly. His eyes moisten just a tad and so do mine because he is my absolute favorite, you guys! Even more than Cat Sweater Guy!

You ARE good! Never leave!
Benjamin's meltdown results in a dress that's such a mess that they show his entire team helping to twirl these leather straps around her so that the dress will stay on, all literally in the hallway right before the runway show, which I've never actually seen before. Eesh. This is bad.

At runway time, we're introduced to the guest judge, Kristin Davis. And more importantly than that, as Samantha waves to Ms. Davis, we're introduced to her amazing necklaces.

Let's also discuss the bangin' red velvet suit Zac Posen has on today. Well done, sir. Well done.

As for the actual designs on the runway, there were some dresses that flowed really beautifully, starting with Daniel's simple but pretty beige-with-leather thing, followed by Layana and Kate's black-pink corset dress.

I also really liked Girl From Portland's short dress with the badass leather-and-metal collar line. Less extravagant than some of the other dresses perhaps, but the whole thing seemed to fit well and be made well and I just really liked it, although this screencap is a little blurry. And her model with the shaved head--gorgeous!

Sadly, she didn't get a chance to be praised because her team lost. Again. WOMP WOMP THIS IS JUST GETTING UNCOMFORTABLE.

On Team Keeping It Real, Team of Winners, they loved Layana and Kate's and Daniel's dresses, but they also surprisingly liked Patricia's.

Patricia's was made of small patches of pink leather that she cut out and sewed together for her signature "leather mesh" technique that she's created. The look was supposed to follow to a long gown with the squares getting larger with each color shift (the third bottom color would've been black), but she obviously ran out of time and still created a cool looking short garment. I'm not upset that the judges liked it, because I also thought it was cool, if not maybe the absolute prettiest thing up there, but whenever people do their own unique thing I just NEVER KNOW WHAT THE JUDGES WILL THINK. It's either TRASH, or it's the COOLEST THING EVER. And not knowing stresses me out somehow. But anyway, yay Patricia.

In the end, even after the praise, Patricia didn't actually win. Daniel and Kate were the Chosen Ones, and they were both so happy and proud! Tears for everyone!

As for the Dream Team of Sadness, they really hated all of the bottom three because they were all pretty bad, between Benjamin's sloppy mess, Matt's cliche S&M girl, and Cindy's ugly pink fabric.

But in the end, the cut went to:

Cindy and her shawl. And somehow, I have a LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS, YOU GUYS.

So while I don't really like her dress at all, I think it's sort of bullshit that she got the ax. Almost every single complaint was just about her fabric. And while I know choosing fabric is a big part of being a designer, at least it wasn't falling apart (Benjamin) or just embarrassing (Matt). I REALLY like Matt, and was glad he didn't leave, and I also would have been sad if Benjamin was sent home, but this was one of those instances where I think the judges didn't really judge on the garments themselves but on their beliefs in the designer. So while Matt's look was horrendous, and he even admitted it was, he dresses likes a Funky Dude, which has to mean something, and while Benjamin's dress was a trainwreck, he dresses Really Fancy and has a lot of Experience, which also means something. Whereas Cindy is a dowdy old lady in a shawl.

I don't think Cindy would have made it to the very end or anything, but especially with this Teams thing, I hate that her only experience on the show was being on the losing side, that she never got the chance to be believed in ONCE. Maybe I'm overreacting because I always want to believe in the oldies that occasionally show up on this show SO MUCH, because I feel like it takes so much balls for them to even want to do this show, amongst a bunch of other egotistical twenty and thirtysomethings. Cindy's dress could have been better, but it REALLY WASN'T THE WORST.

OF COURSE TO ADD TO THE AGONY, she takes the classy way out, saying that she "walks away with so much gratitude," instead of being pissed like I am, and then when Tim Gunn comes in to send her to gather her stuff, she says to him, "It was because of you that my life has changed and I'm a fashion designer," AND I AM LIKE, CRYING A LOT RIGHT NOW? AM I JUST REALLY OVER EMOTIONAL OR SOMETHING? CINDYYYYYYYYYY.

"You have not seen the last of me. I have great plans and much excitement for what I can create. I have nothing but thank yous for Project Runway." - CINDY, PROJECT RUNWAY, 2013-2013


All right, PR. If Dream Team doesn't win next episode, I am gonna break some shit.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Books Are Pretty: Part II

I've been meaning to make another one of these posts forever; specifically, since I first made one last January. There were lots of lovely "Best Book Covers of 2012" lists I saw at the end of last year, but the covers I've chosen for this are not necessarily from 2012. And I've hardly read any of them or can say anything about the actual quality of the text. Oh, and they're pretty much all MG or YA. Duh! But here they are: completely random books covers that have caught my eye. Because the art of the book cover is a damn fine art.

1) The Blood Lie, Shirley Reva Vernick; Cinco Puntos Press, 2011.


2) Angry Young Man, Chris Lynch; Simon & Schuster, 2011.

The most powerful combination is an amazing title with an amazing cover, and this is one of them. Literally gives me chills each time I see it.

3) Scrawl, Mark Shulman; Roaring Brook Press, 2010.

The unique-profile is clearly something I go for, as this concept is somewhat similar to The Blood Lie. But I just thought this cover was particularly clever.

4) Lark, Tracey Porter; HarperCollins, 2011.

OK, OK, give me a pretty tree and/or a pretty bird design AND I WILL LIKE IT. That's probably overly predictable or generic or something, but oh well! I can't fight it!

5) Dreamland, Sarah Dessen; Viking/Speak, 2000.

This has since been reissued with what I believe is a much more boring cover, of a dock jutting into the sea, but this was the original hardback version and I just love the absolute zine-y-ness of it. Yeah, zine-y-ness isn't probably a word you hear often, but there it is.

6) Karma, Cathy Ostlere; Razorbill, 2011.

I mean, that's just pretty.

7) Stones for My Father, Trilby Kent; Tundra Books, 2011.

Normally, I wouldn't herald the event of yet another white girl on the cover of a youth book, but there's something different about a specifically freckled white girl with a dead eye stare. Haunting.

8) Girl Wonder, Alexa Martin; Hyperion, 2011.

So another white girl excuse: those colors! So great!

9) Ninth Ward, Jewell Parker Rhodes; Little, Brown, 2010.

This book cover was reprinted after it won a Coretta Scott King Honor Award, with a non-illustrated image, and shockingly, I find this original far superior. Something about the child riding through the flood, guided by that huge flower, seems so gentle in the middle of such tragedy that, even though I know it's "just" an illustration for a children's book, I almost get choked up each time I run across it.

10) Hokey Pokey, Jerry Spinelli; Knopf, 2013.

Since most of the books I choose will normally be a few years old, I think I should end the list each time I randomly decide to do this (because I'm hoping to make these lists more often, because I REALLY LIKE BOOK COVERS!) with a very-recent book, the honor of which this time goes to Jerry Spinelli, whom I love (or probably more accurately, to his publishers). A bike in a pretty sky? Sounds good to me.

What have been your favorite covers recently?

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Project Runway 11.2: Balls Are Our Business. (End quote.)

We start Episode Numero Dos by learning that we're going to stay in the same megateams from Episode Numero Uno. Ha! Ha! Team Keeping It Real is all, awww, sounds good, buddies! Let's punch each other in the shoulder and cast reassuring grins at one another! Dream Team looks silently to the ground; collectively breathe, SHIT.

Our challenge also introduces Utterly Blatant Advertising Scheme #1 of the Season, creating new uniforms for the staff at some fancy club in New York that's owned by Susan Sarandon and specializes in ping pong? Ha! What! The guy says their logo is, "Balls Are Our Business." Ha! Ha! What!

As hilarious and strange as this is, I'm not super thrilled about this challenge because, uh, right, uniforms. Even with Susan Sarandon involved, uniforms aren't that exciting. I mean, they COULD be exciting if the designers were really allowed to do whatever the hell they wanted, but Ping Pong Balls Place actually wants to USE these uniforms, so I assume they can't be too avant garde. But hey, I could be wrong.

The only exciting thing that happens at Mood is that Benjamin, This Australian Dude, is super douchey to Cindy, Old Lady From Washington. You know when people have British/Australian/etc accents and they can either sound ADORABLE AND BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL or like the most fucking pretentious people in the world? Guess which one Benjamin is! Already sort of over you, Benjamin. EYEROLLING FOREVER.

Joseph Aaron also wants to make an outfit for the ball boys that's full of polka dots, and Nice Bald Guy is like, "Joseph Aaron, these guys want to look manly," and Joseph Aaron is all, "But, they can still look GOOD!" And then he talks about his cat sweaters a little more. He is the adorablest!

You silly gay! 
Going to try my darndest to include a Swatch shot each episode, because COME ON THAT FACE.
THIS PROGRAMMING INTERRUPTED to shout about the Lifetime TELEVISION EVENT that keeps getting advertised starring Mary J. Blige and Angela Bassett called BETTY & CORETTA, about the widows of Martin Luther King and Malcolm X bonding together. YES PLEASE. DOUBLE DOUBLE YES YES.

Anyway, so back to business. Team Keeping It Real--I hope these teams change next week because typing that name is getting obnoxious--is still getting along chummy and Dream Team is still being awkward and tense. Cindy and Benjamin are still having Bad Times.

"Stop micromanaging me!" "I'm just trying to help!" yadda yadda yawn.
But there's a screen printer there to screen print logos onto fabric, with a rad twirly press thing, so, that's neat. YEAH SCREEN PRINTING.

Layana, a super sweet Brazilian girl, is also working closely with Daniel With the Mustache, as she's concerned about her construction skills and he's open to helping others, although he does keep calling her "the weakest link" in the one-on-one-with-the-camera sessions, but. Still. Her honesty and slight insecurity about Not Being the Best is actually quite appealing to me, a pleasant opposition to the egos that are normally bouncing around the room. They are two of my faves and I love them together.

"I would marry her if I were straight!" I'd marry YOU!
The next morning, however, it seems like Dream Team has sort of come together in their misery and are trying to help each other out, while Kate looks around Team Keeping It Real and all of a sudden thinks, Hey, This All Looks Like Shit. Which, from where I sit, seems pretty accurate. Whoopsie.

THIS PROGRAMMING INTERRUPTED AGAIN to say that this Lifetime show about the ladies who design bras for busty women? I'll probably never watch it but I feel like I am TOTALLY INTO IT. RIGHT? Is that weird?

Onto the runway show, Susan Sarandon obviously shows up. I love you, Susan! Even though you are a hilariously weird ping pong club owner now!

So for the actual runway. I mean. It was sort of boring? This was the worst:

This gross tank brought to you by James.
One of the few interesting things was a kilt made by Matthew, with a ball pouch on the balls talking about balls.

Who doesn't like a kilt, amIright?
And then there was this outfit, put together by Joseph Aaron and That Nice Bald Guy, both of whom I love, but the huge printed pockets are straight from the days of JNCO jeans.

I haven't missed you, middle school!
To be honest, I had no idea which team was actually worse than the other, but it ended up being the same as last week, with Dream Team on the bottom and Team Keeping it Real on the top. At this announcement, Dream Team looked SO SAD, Y'ALL.

OMG, a million puppies just died.
But in better news, Samantha is looking HOT, as is Matthew in that fine pink jacket. Buck up, guys! You'll make it soon! Speaking of amazing outfits, I also can't get over Daniel With the Mustache's sweater, over on Team Happy:

But let's get to the judges' critiques of the best and the worst, which I didn't necessarily all agree with. Staring with the worst, DUN DUN DUNNNN:

Guys, the models always look so depressed, too! Ugh!
So obviously the tank/long short combo was bad, and I feel pretty meh about James anyway because he seemed particularly bad at and also moody about taking his team members' advice. The judges' complaint about the middle outfit was that it was boring, and more suited for a suburban hotel than such a wonderfully hip ping pong club--remember how we just found out those exist?--which, now that they said it, is true. But it still looks classy and cute, so, eh.

And then they really hated the kilt, guys. Well, Susan Sarandon thought it was "ballsy," which all the judges thought was hilarious. But they all clearly thought the "balls are my business" pouch was inappropriate, which it was, BUT IT WAS ALSO FUNNY, DUDES! It was funny! And while I do love Susan, I did roll my eyes a bit when she said that "none of her guys would wear skirts, I can tell you that." Okay, yeah, full out EYEROLL. How do you know? This guy seemed okay with it! Kilts are cool! (Imagine Matt Smith saying that; it makes it better than when just I say it.) And I actually really liked the mesh tank, and feel like the design did actually capture the "frenetic energy" of the ping pong club, as Benjamin described, even though I would typically think that was just some bullshit phrasing. But it sort of does! Anyhoo, thank goodness for Zac Posen, who did step in to say that he enjoyed the "tongue in cheek gender bending." Thanks, Zac! I like you more already.

Onto the Good Ones:

Guys! They loved the JNCO jeans look! Really! I also hate the top--something about the black and white split and that font just read super cheesy to me, like a badly designed website or something. I dunno. The outfit on the right ended up winning, which was designed by the Actual Dream Team of Layana and Daniel, so I'm happy for them. But while definitely super cute, I really didn't think this was that original or anything. I feel like I've seen waitresses wear this exact outfit, like a lot? I did genuinely like the dude in the middle, although his outfit is a little tough to really see in this screencap. But while it was just a loose pair of pants and a sweatshirt-t-shirt thing, they all fit really well and somehow just looked SUPER SEXY. But I don't know if he looked that way because of the clothes or just because he is SUPER SEXY. I do think it was a combo, though. That one was designed by Stanley, who's a Somewhat Serious Gay, who I think could possibly go far this season.

As for the loser, it came down to Cindy and James. Which I also didn't find quite fair: obviously James deserved it, but Cindy's jacket was at least well made, and more interesting than the shorts that Benjamin contributed. But I guess Benjamin also made the mesh tank that I liked, too, so, I guess I should just shut up. In any case, Cindy's safe. Bye bye, James. We hardly knew you. Literally.

Here's to hoping we get rid of these megateams next week, if only just so I don't have to see the Dream Team so full of sad anymore.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Project Runway, Season 11: Recaps!

Last season on Project Runway, which was approximately four and a half seconds ago, I was able to recap episodes for AfterEllen because there was a lesbo on it, although I feel like hardly anyone actually read them because while Project Runway is SCHWAY GAY, I guess it's not so much lesbian. Apparently? Or at least lesbians who read AfterEllen. Anyway, it was super fun for me in any case because I am SCHWAY GAY (apparently), and I've had the maybe weird idea to start recapping this season here on my own blog (since there's no lesbos this time), because recapping is sort of the best and I want to? I know it doesn't really fit with what I typically write on this blog, but, if I like it, I suppose that's reason enough? I can also be even more inappropriate in recaps here than I am on AE, and also get them up whenever the hell I feel like it, so, extra bonus?

Speaking of getting them up whenever the hell I feel like it, I started watching this season late, and so will just now be writing about Le Road to Le Runway, and Episode One. Hopefully, I'll blab about Episode Two and Three sometime later this week. Hah! Like that's going to happen!

Le Road to Le Runway is the Episode Before the Actual First Episode, where we get to meet the designers during their awkward auditions, made a little less awkward by the fact that Mondo seemed to be in charge of them, SWOON, and see a little of their backgrounds. There are so many contestants at the beginning of the season that it hurts your head to actually get to know all of them. But luckily, the contestants this season seem to clearly fall into two categories at the beginning: Boring Bitchy White Girls, and Really Interesting Folk. So let's just focus on the Really Interesting Folk, because seriously, life is short.

Also: while I love PR to the extent that I even watched All Stars, there seemed to be a huge lack of, well, Really Interesting Folk for the last several seasons--since Mondo himself was on, really. When PR started there were people who really PUSHED THE ENVELOPE, if you will (frequent PR phrases will henceforth be typed IN ALL CAPS), but those types of people have since dwindled to the point where it's like, what the hell is the point of this thing? Art or commercialism? More or more, it seems to be the latter. Not to say that the ability to be commercial shouldn't also factor into a designer's success. But, you know, I like art, and stuff, and weird people, so bring on the weird!


- Patricia: A Native American from Taos, New Mexico, I believe she's the first Native American on the show, an important fact in itself; add on to that that she is AWESOME. And WEIRD. Which is AWESOME.

Warning: All of my screencaps from this episode are of ASTOUNDINGLY BAD QUALITY. I promise you nothing.
- Joseph Aaron: OMG, hipster baby from Providence! He loves cats! I know everyone loves cats, but something about him seems particularly adorable and lovable as opposed to annoying!

One of the few non-cat sweaters.
- Daniel: A super cute gay Latino from Texas who dropped out of school in 9th grade because of being bullied for being a super cute gay Latino, Daniel won me over with his warmth, his ridiculous mustache that didn't even feel ironic, and his polka dot dress with bunny ears on the front. Hello!

- Matthew: Matthew is from New Orleans, and has this fun-but-real personality. He thinks fashion needs to have a greater sense of humor, yet he also talks about how he wonders how much he and his friends are dealing or not dealing with various addictions, as New Orleans is apt to encourage and support. Basically, while he purports to be light and funny, I think he understands darkness, and his fashion seems to express the creativity that comes out of that juxtaposition. I just like this guy.

Let's be friends.
- Tu: I must admit that I am stupidly biased towards Tu already because one of my favorite students I ever worked with was named Tu, and he was the sweetest ever, and this Tu ALSO seems like the sweetest ever! Originally from Bangkok, he was accepted to Parsons after a childhood of bullying in Thailand and can now fulfill his true gay dream! Go Tu, go!

- Samantha: Samantha's from Brooklyn and one of those Brooklyn ladies who you know just GOT IT. Fashion is in their blood. She's funky and cool and genuine and I am INTO IT. AND HER. AND I MEAN HER FASHION. BUT HER.

She also did the Dougie. It was real good.
Other random thoughts: there's a girl from Portland and at least in these first impressions she seems awful. Why are the designers from Portland always awful? There's also a designer who has a brother who's in Maroon 5. So. There's that.

The other THING about this season, of course, is that it's PROJECT RUNWAY SEASON 11: TEAMS. As in, every single challenge will be a team challenge. If you're thinking, "Well, that sounds like the worst idea in the world," YOU WOULD BE CORRECT. Tim Gunn keeps telling me on Twitter to keep faith and that it really will work, and I want to trust Tim Gunn on all things, but I don't know.

The contestants also have NO IDEA that this is happening, which seems really shitty. During their audition interviews, they also ask each one about how they work with others, and of course most of them, particularly the Boring Bitchy White Girls, are all, "Hellll no, I'm the captain of my own empire, OKAY," and "I am a LEADER AMONG LEADERS," etc. etc., to the point where I started to wonder if they just picked people based on their Cattiness Potential as opposed to their actual fashion skills. Sigh.

So there's our little intro, and I am truly excited by the prospects of some of these designers. So let's get it on with EPISODE NUMBER ONE.

How Heidi feels about teams. Apparently.
Everyone gathers in New York right on the runway, where Heidi and Tim meet them to tell them about the Awful Team Idea Thing. They all get pained looks on their faces while forcing awkward smiles because they don't want to appear fussy in their first meeting with Heidi and Tim!

Shit, girl.
This really isn't that different from Patricia's normal face.
Tim's explanation about the teams thing is that in the Real World, you always have to work in a team. So, yeah, true. I guess that's logical. Except for the fact that the whole point of Project Runway is that it's NOT the Real World. But, getting over it 'cause I have to.  The one person who seems really cool with it is Daniel From Texas With the Mustache, who's all, "Working with others is swell!" Bless your heart, Daniel.

They're separated into two big teams to start, which is okay, because the big team challenges are less awful than the rest since most designers still get to make their own garments. The two teams then separate to different areas to Gaze at New York and Drink Champagne and Talk Awkwardly With Each Other, one on the roof of Atlas, one on a boat in the Hudson. You can always feel their nerves and strangeness at this point and it's the worst. Let's just get to Mood and the work room.

New York: Always my favorite Project Runway contestant.
Tim comes in to tell them their cash flow for the challenge, and everyone is SO HAPPY! Tim Gunn is talking to them! This is actually happening!!

I mean, how can you not love Daniel From Texas With the Mustache? And Cat Boy From Rhode Island next to him?
Yes, I really AM fabulous!
Also, Swatch is still alive. Thank Christ for that.

I run this joint.
The teams name themselves Dream Team and Team Keeping It Real, which are equally horrendous names.

Per usual, there's not a ton to say about the work room time, as it's often hard to tell what the hell these outfits will look like until the runway. The one thing I note is that Patricia is creating some gray block pattern thing that I really enjoy.

Emily, a young chick from Virginia who was one of those "I'm gonna kick their asses!" girls from auditions, has apparently been spending every second in the work room doing approximately nothing. At the end of the first day she has not a single piece done. Nada, zilch, yikes.

I have no idea what I'm doing.
I know. We all know.
In related news, the girl from Portland who at first seemed like the worst, still seems sort of fake but also like a supportive leader, and is also rocking a respectably huge pair of earrings and some good tattoos, so, maybe she isn't so bad. Time will tell, but she at least at this point seems less awful than that Portland bitch who won a few seasons ago. Sorry for judging you so harshly, bro.

As we move on to the runway, we receive another bit of news about this season: Michael Kors is done, and designer Zac Posen is taking his place. I was devastated about this news at first, but then some people who actually know about fashion--clearly, I just watch this show--told me that he is pretty fabulous. And I trust them. So. I'm not as upset, but he still can't completely capture the sassy gay wonder of Michael Kors.

At least I got a screencap of him looking his gayest.
 Speaking of gays, Christian Siriano is our guest judge!

Hey, bitches.
Here were some highlights from the actual runway show: While sort of weird and I'm not sure if I actually liked it, Matthew from New Orleans' dress seemed like one of the most original.

Daniel With the Mustache's black suit looked clean and sophisticated and badass.

And Patricia's gray checkered shift turned out pretty great, as well. I loved the small pops of blue at top (to match the shoes!), and the just off the shoulder collar line.

I also thought Samantha from Brooklyn's whole dress was pretty, but I particularly loved the floaty skirt.

Aaaaaand Emily's look was a hot mess. Might be hard to see here, but really, a hot mess.

Team Keeping It Real--god, these names are bad--ended up on top, with Dream Team on the bottom. Of the bottom three looks, in addition to Emily's hot mess, were Real Boring Outfit by That Dude Whose Name I Can't Remember Because He's Pretty Boring, and also Crazy Ugly Dress by Cindy. I haven't mentioned Cindy yet, but she's the requisite oldie of the bunch, and I'm trying to reserve judgment of her because everyone else is obviously judging her right off the bat real bad, and I tend to want to root for the oldies even though they never go far. Also she's from Washington and just seems sweet, and excited to be here. And I do think the main fabric was interesting in her dress. But that checkerboard with it? Seriously, why didn't anyone tell her?

I...don't know.
In the top, we have Patricia's dress and Daniel With the Mustache's pant suit, as well as This Bald Guy Whose Name I Also Can't Remember. I also didn't particularly care for his dress, but, he seems nice?

Daniel With the Mustache from Texas ended up winning. This is his eyes-closed-in-wonder face. His jacket was also amazing! I love him!

Not surprisingly, it was Emily who received the Heidi kiss of death this week, and watching the first elimination is always tough. Especially as you knew that Emily knew all along that she had screwed up, and her attempting-to-hold-it-together looks of pain and utter shame up there were just brutal. And while some people leave being all, "I'm gonna be better than evah now!" She was like, "Wellll, guess it's time to reevaluate." :/ Emily. But girl is 24. There's lots of time, honey!
At the same time, though, before taking this job you had to KNOW that you had to be able to whip up outfits in 24 hours under pressure, and when people lose it this easily, I have to think about all the other designers out there who would probably kill to be in their spots.

In any case, I find myself strangely looking forward to the rest of this season. TEAMS AND ALL, I GUESS. I just don't know how to quit you, Tim Gunn.