Friday, February 22, 2013

Project Runway 11.3: You Cry, I Cry, We All Cry.

I'm already even more behind on these recaps than I thought I would be, so, really, things are running as expected. WAY TO GO ME!

So our third episode is Shameless Advertising Scheme #2 of the season, this time for our very own Heidi Klum. She's coming out with her own perfume because who isn't! She needs two outfits: one for a commercial, one for press events. She says make it sexy, because duh!

Sorry, I mean "fragrance"!

We're still in teams Keeping It Real and Dream Team; it's becoming clear to me that we're staying in these teams ALL SEASON LONG. Hence, you know, the meaning of "Project Runway Teams." I suppose I'm just slow on the uptake; I thought there'd be different kinds of team challenges. In one way, this is okay, because it does seem like the individual designers are getting to do their own things within the larger teams. At the same time, the winner only coming from the winning team and the loser from the losing team thing when it comes to judging seems rather unfair. There are designers on Dream Team that seem rather rad who haven't had a chance to win, or even really feel good about themselves yet, and designers on Keeping It Real who've never had to go through a rough critique when they might have deserved one.

Since team members do keep getting kicked out of Dream Team, though, the numbers are a bit uneven at this point between the teams. For the number of designs Heidi wants to see, Dream Team each gets their own design while a few people on Keeping It Real have to collaborate. One of those couplings are Amanda and Joe, who are having a real hard time coming up with a concept together. Amanda likes doing fitted, sophisticated things; Joe likes making cat sweaters. When trying to get advice about what to do, Nice Bald Guy says, you just want to get Heidi on the Best Dressed List, not What Not to Wear. To which Joe says this gem:

"If it gets on What Not to Wear, that's like, a proud moment for me. Because I like making stuff like that."

To which the others look at him like he's crazy. And I say, OH JOE. I LOVE YOU!

Uhhh, right.
They eventually come up with a good compromise they feel good about. Another team, meanwhile, Kate and Layana, start out seemingly chummy. But then suddenly during Tim's critique, Layana has a meltdown wherein she starts grabbing her head and screaming, "THIS COLOR! THIS PINK! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE LIKES IT! THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!," all while still being weirdly adorable Layana? Wait, is she adorable or annoying? I don't know; I can't tell! Kate deals with it as best she can, forcing politely confused smiles, but it is awkward.

I just have all these FEELINGS.
Overall, people are going through some emotional trauma. Matt, Fun Guy From New Orleans, is feeling intimidated and stressed by making an elegant Heidi look, which ain't really his thang. Benjamin, meanwhile, for whom this challenge is supposed to be made for, has for some reason lost it. Just really lost all manner of previous Ben confidence. His head is in a murky dark place; he reveals to the camera that he used to be in an emotionally abusive relationship which made him not doubt just himself, but his career. It's when he talks about his career that he breaks down. When he says, "But I'm on Project Runway, so someone must have thought I'm good at what I do," in such a vulnerable, I-want-to-be-loved-and-belived-in way as opposed to a cocky way, I lose it, too. Sorry for saying bad things about you, Ben!

You'll be okay! Maybe!
The next crying sesh comes from Guy With the Mustache From Texas, Daniel, who doesn't have so much of a meltdown as Ben but gives a little spiel about how he's self-taught and comes from nothing but that he really thinks he's good and wants this so badly; he just wants this so badly. His eyes moisten just a tad and so do mine because he is my absolute favorite, you guys! Even more than Cat Sweater Guy!

You ARE good! Never leave!
Benjamin's meltdown results in a dress that's such a mess that they show his entire team helping to twirl these leather straps around her so that the dress will stay on, all literally in the hallway right before the runway show, which I've never actually seen before. Eesh. This is bad.

At runway time, we're introduced to the guest judge, Kristin Davis. And more importantly than that, as Samantha waves to Ms. Davis, we're introduced to her amazing necklaces.

Let's also discuss the bangin' red velvet suit Zac Posen has on today. Well done, sir. Well done.

As for the actual designs on the runway, there were some dresses that flowed really beautifully, starting with Daniel's simple but pretty beige-with-leather thing, followed by Layana and Kate's black-pink corset dress.

I also really liked Girl From Portland's short dress with the badass leather-and-metal collar line. Less extravagant than some of the other dresses perhaps, but the whole thing seemed to fit well and be made well and I just really liked it, although this screencap is a little blurry. And her model with the shaved head--gorgeous!

Sadly, she didn't get a chance to be praised because her team lost. Again. WOMP WOMP THIS IS JUST GETTING UNCOMFORTABLE.

On Team Keeping It Real, Team of Winners, they loved Layana and Kate's and Daniel's dresses, but they also surprisingly liked Patricia's.

Patricia's was made of small patches of pink leather that she cut out and sewed together for her signature "leather mesh" technique that she's created. The look was supposed to follow to a long gown with the squares getting larger with each color shift (the third bottom color would've been black), but she obviously ran out of time and still created a cool looking short garment. I'm not upset that the judges liked it, because I also thought it was cool, if not maybe the absolute prettiest thing up there, but whenever people do their own unique thing I just NEVER KNOW WHAT THE JUDGES WILL THINK. It's either TRASH, or it's the COOLEST THING EVER. And not knowing stresses me out somehow. But anyway, yay Patricia.

In the end, even after the praise, Patricia didn't actually win. Daniel and Kate were the Chosen Ones, and they were both so happy and proud! Tears for everyone!

As for the Dream Team of Sadness, they really hated all of the bottom three because they were all pretty bad, between Benjamin's sloppy mess, Matt's cliche S&M girl, and Cindy's ugly pink fabric.

But in the end, the cut went to:

Cindy and her shawl. And somehow, I have a LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS, YOU GUYS.

So while I don't really like her dress at all, I think it's sort of bullshit that she got the ax. Almost every single complaint was just about her fabric. And while I know choosing fabric is a big part of being a designer, at least it wasn't falling apart (Benjamin) or just embarrassing (Matt). I REALLY like Matt, and was glad he didn't leave, and I also would have been sad if Benjamin was sent home, but this was one of those instances where I think the judges didn't really judge on the garments themselves but on their beliefs in the designer. So while Matt's look was horrendous, and he even admitted it was, he dresses likes a Funky Dude, which has to mean something, and while Benjamin's dress was a trainwreck, he dresses Really Fancy and has a lot of Experience, which also means something. Whereas Cindy is a dowdy old lady in a shawl.

I don't think Cindy would have made it to the very end or anything, but especially with this Teams thing, I hate that her only experience on the show was being on the losing side, that she never got the chance to be believed in ONCE. Maybe I'm overreacting because I always want to believe in the oldies that occasionally show up on this show SO MUCH, because I feel like it takes so much balls for them to even want to do this show, amongst a bunch of other egotistical twenty and thirtysomethings. Cindy's dress could have been better, but it REALLY WASN'T THE WORST.

OF COURSE TO ADD TO THE AGONY, she takes the classy way out, saying that she "walks away with so much gratitude," instead of being pissed like I am, and then when Tim Gunn comes in to send her to gather her stuff, she says to him, "It was because of you that my life has changed and I'm a fashion designer," AND I AM LIKE, CRYING A LOT RIGHT NOW? AM I JUST REALLY OVER EMOTIONAL OR SOMETHING? CINDYYYYYYYYYY.

"You have not seen the last of me. I have great plans and much excitement for what I can create. I have nothing but thank yous for Project Runway." - CINDY, PROJECT RUNWAY, 2013-2013


All right, PR. If Dream Team doesn't win next episode, I am gonna break some shit.

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